What makes a daddy?

I am so very frustrated with Hannah’s dad!  Her nana passed away on Wedesday. She had cancer but Hannah said before Christmas when she saw her last she didn’t really look sick and hadn’t lost all the weight she lost (She was down to 110) .. I have to vent a bit about this cuz I know that it will make me feel better. .. Nana was sick. But she was more sick than she let anyone know. I do not agree with keeping sickness from your family and close friends who could be praying for a healing… but apparently she had her reasons. None the less, Nana was sick and in the hospital the last time Hannah went to her dad’s. Instead of going to see Nana, they went to do some other stuff .. “cuz the hospital was across town from where they were at.”  Issue number one – If a family member is super sick, please go see them and let the grandchildren see them to say a possible good-bye.  Don’t tell Hannah after I am 10 mins late picking her up that if they would have known I was gonna be late that they would have gone to see her.. It should have been a top priority! Then last week out of the blue he calls Hannah and says that Nana is home from the hospital.. Hannah thinks she is getting better… then he tells her she needs to talk to Nana on the phone cuz they don’t know when/if she’ll see her again. ( By this time nana can’t hardly talk on the phone so hannah is talking to nana and her dad is telling hannah what she is saying.) She tells her she loves her and a couple other things then they get off the phone. I text to ask what the crap is going on for sure cuz Hannah doesn’t really understand. I hardly get more than 1 or 2 word answers.  Issue number two – I know I am not your wife or a family member.. but I am the mother of your daughter and I need to know exactly what is happening so I can help her to understand. I don’t care if your busy or if you don’t think it’s any of my business. I then called him the next day to talk and find out details cuz his texts sucked.. I learned that all her kids were home and she wasn’t doing well. But the day before had seemed a bit better and I know knew what was killing her and why nothing had been done to help her. ( Cancer had spread throughout her whole body and she didn’t tell family till it was too late) .. Told him to keep me updated.. Then on Wedesday I get a phone call (about 10am) telling me that she had died and that he would be calling to talk to Hannah after she got out of school around 4pm. I asked a couple questions and he told me he would get the details about burial and stuff as soon as he knew. And then I asked about Hannah going this weekend to be with them.. His reply.. “I don’t know”… Issue number three – It’s her family too! She has every right to be with you and grieve and cry.. to say good-bye! I don’t care how little she saw her.. it was her grandmother for heavens sake!!! So that afternoon when Hannah got home I told her the news.. She was in shock.. upset.. but mostly shock. I told her that her dad would be calling her and she said ok. She wanted details and info. .. She waited. And waited. and waited. He called her phone while I was gone to Bball practice.. (around 6:30pm) .. she can’t use her phone for calls till after 7pm so she called him after that. .. I think they were only on the phone for 5 mintues. I’m sure he was busy…. Issue number four – Hannah lost someone too. She should have the choice to talk to you and feel like she isn’t wasting your time!! (this is just my impression of the whole thing)  … ok. .. moving on. Long story short. I let him know that if he wanted to get Hannah this weekend.. I could get her to him.. (No .. he can’t. No money to get gas in his car) .. Visitation was last night… we found out AFTER the fact. Both Hannah and I tried to get ahold of him  all evening and he finally called back around 8:30pm. Nana is being buried near Chicago by her own parents. .. So I told him that she could go on Monday with them.. He is going to work and not going..Issue number five- YOU got Closure .. you got to see her ..say good-bye.. all My daughter keeps saying is .. “it just doesn’t seem real.”…. Thanks. Thanks for helping her through the first real loss she has ever had!! I don’t understand why you thought keeping her from this was a good idea. You have NO Idea how hard it is to loss someone and then keep forgetting they are gone and having to relive the pain everytime you remember! You need to say good-bye. You need it to move on.  Thanks so much for being a rock for her to stand on.. I thank God she has a real dad her that care enough to help her through the hurt even if he doesn’t understand it!  It makes me sad to think that she needs to talk about it with you and you don’t want to listen long enough for her to release her sorrow.

This is just my views about the last week. I am sure I am a little biased to where my Children are concerned. I know Chris loved Hannah.. it’s just he isn’t a … and I quote.. “A family guy”.. I don’t care if you are or not.. She still needs you to be a dad.

The End!